Misophonia: Why certain sounds make you irrationally angry (and how I’m learning to cope)

I hate loud chewing. Badly.

Not small irritation. Not “please stop.”

I mean full body tension, instant rage, and an overwhelming urge to either leave the room or snap. The kind of anger that makes you want to ask: “Why are you chewing like a goat?” Because honestly, even goats might have better coordination. Sheeps? I have stood close to sheeps, they weren’t that loud either.

And don’t get me started on gum. Or slurping. Or that wet sound people make when they eat. Absolutely not. I used to think it was just bad manners. That people were chewing with their mouths open and just didn’t care.

“Why are you chewing like that?”
“Do you know you can breathe normally?”

But one day, I sat beside someone who was chewing with their mouth closed… and it was somehow worse.

You could hear everything. The wetness. Every movement. Every pause. Every breath.

It gets worse (and slightly embarrassing)

I remember sitting in a meeting, already trying to focus. Then this guy started clicking his pen.

Click. Click. Click.

At first, I tried to be understanding. Maybe it was his “emotional support pen.” Maybe he was nervous. But then he finished speaking… and continued clicking. This human being clicked his pen for the entire meeting.

My brain locked in.

I stopped hearing everything else. The only thing that existed was that sound. The irritation built fast. In my head, I had already stood up, yanked the pen from him, and thrown it away. But I’m a civilized human being so I just gave him a dead stare.

It did nothing. He clicked till the meeting ended.

That’s when I had to ask myself

Why does something so small trigger such a big reaction? Because let’s be honest, I do annoying things too. I fidget. I tap. I move around… and dare I say, I hear my self chewing too. So why was this different?

That question led me down a rabbit hole… and I found something that explained everything. MISOPHONIA.

What is misophonia?

Misophonia literally means “hatred of sound,” but it’s more specific than that. According to the Cleveland Clinic, it’s a condition where certain everyday sounds trigger intense emotional and physical reactions.

Not just annoyance. We’re talking anger, disgust, tension, sometimes even rage. It’s not about being dramatic or overly sensitive. It’s a neurological response. In people with misophonia, the brain processes specific sounds as threats.

So when someone is chewing, tapping, or sniffing, your brain is not just reacting casually. It’s reacting as if something is wrong or dangerous. That explains a lot.

Why it feels so intense

This part made everything click for me. Here’s what’s actually happening behind the scenes. In people with misophonia, the part of your brain that decides what matters, the salience network, is overactive. It sends certain sounds straight to your emotional centre, the amygdala. That’s your fight-or-flight system.

So when you hear that chewing or clicking:

• Your brain skips logic
• It goes straight to “this is a problem”
• Your body reacts instantly

That’s why you feel:

• Sudden anger
• Disgust
• Hyper-focus on the sound
• Physical tension or a racing heart

It’s not proportional because it’s not logical. Your brain is basically shouting: “Danger!”. Your brain thinks it’s protecting you. Meanwhile, someone is simply chewing gum beside you.

My personal triggers (…you might relate)

Over time, I’ve realised I have very specific triggers. Let me not lie, the list is longer than presented here:

• Loud chewing or gum
• Slurping sounds
• Heavy breathing (ntak a? why are you breathing like that?)
• Pen clicking
• Repetitive tapping
• Unnecessary rustling

And the frustrating part? Once I hear it, that’s it. My brain holds onto it like an unpaid debt. I can’t un-hear it.

The situation that made me take this seriously

This one hit differently. It isn’t just a random observation.

I finally got the chance to spend time around people I genuinely care about… someone I had been hoping to be around more often. But the chewing? Omo x1000.

It was triggering me badly. And now I had a choice: React and make them uncomfortable or figure out how to control myself. I chose the latter so, kept it cute and respectful.

Now it was not just about irritation. It was about self-control, respect, and not damaging relationships over something they may not even realise they’re doing. So I had to figure out how to manage it.

What actually helps me manage it

Let me be clear. Since misophonia is a neurological reflex, you can’t simply “decide” to stop being annoyed, but you can reduce how intense it gets. Think of your brain as a high-precision sensor that’s currently experiencing “signal noise.” Here’s what’s actually working for me:

1. Reframing (this one is hard but important)

Instead of: “They are disgusting.” I force myself to think: “My brain is misinterpreting a normal sound.”

It sounds simple, but it helps remove that personal attack feeling. Because honestly, most people are not trying to annoy you.

2. Brown noise is my lifesaver

This one works.

Brown noise is deeper than white noise and better at masking those annoying “wet” sounds. Sometimes mine is not even official brown noise. It’s just TV in the background mixed with outside noise. But it helps.

It softens the trigger enough for me to function like a normal person.

3. Giving my brain something else to do

If I know I’m walking into a trigger situation, I prepare.

• Music
• Background sound
• Chewing gum myself
• Fidgeting with something

It’s like distracting a stubborn child before it causes problems so, redirecting my brain before it locks onto the wrong thing. Basically saying, make that somebody else’ problem.

4. Tools (if you’re serious about it)

I haven’t committed yet, but these are solid options:

• Noise-cancelling headphones
• Earplugs that reduce background noise but still allow conversation

At some point, you have to stop suffering unnecessarily.

5. Accepting the truth

This one is key. You are not “overreacting for no reason.”

But at the same time… it’s your responsibility to manage your reaction, especially when the other person has done nothing wrong, they are simply eating and in some cases, with their mouths closed! That balance is where the real work comes in.

Finding out about misophonia didn’t magically fix anything. But it gave me clarity, a language, context, and a starting point. Now instead of just reacting, I’m learning to pause, understand, and manage it. Still a work in progress, by the way.

So if certain sounds make you irrationally angry, you’re not alone. But you do need a strategy. Because the world is full of people who chew loudly… and unfortunately, they are not going anywhere.